Dustin is a turd burglar

yes he is, I can see it know - I drop a load and he runs over the swipe it up were he goes to find a hiding place so he can eat his turd in peace. He would finish it and come out and his breath would smell like my waste, he would even have little turds on his facial hair. I would have to slap him and force him to guzzle my spunk, but it would all be worth it. After he would allow me into his chocolate cave of love, were I will unload another load of my duck butter. Damn this is makinf me hot.

Who needs enemas with friends like these!

So I went out to my favoite dumpster site wearing my vintage pair of zubaz I found while touring to promote my book. I was greeted by many queers dressed as Slaters and Zacks, even a Belding came to welcome me back, and by welcoming me back I mean that they took turns packing my shit. It felt so good to be home again, to feel the touch of men that I've felt before. I grew tired of random men entering my chocolate love cave, so it was nice to be among old friends. Someone dressed as Screech came, so I quickly pounched him and squated over him, spraying his face with the wateriest diarrhea ever. He loved it, soon others took turns dropping feces on him. It turned into one giant circle jerk, were everyone shot their seed on the Screech. It was awesome, and my ass hurts too bad to sit anymore, it was a great night.

It's been a while!

I've been away touring to promote my new book "If a man shits in his zubaz and no one is around, will it make a smell?" I've been having a great time meeting and signing autographs. One place that really comes to mind was in West Hollywood at "the Manhole" a popular gay sex club. I was sitting there shaking hands and signing books when a nicely tanned man with a greasy mullet, acid washed jeans and a pink tank top came and shyly handed me his book. I opened it and asked him who I should make it out to, giving a smile. He smiled back and had the cutest dimples I've ever seen. He said his name was Mario. I asked him if he would like to have a drink with me after I got done with the signing. He said he'd come by to pick me up. We went out to the Abbey, another gay hot spot, where we drank a lot and talked for hours. I invited him back to my hotel where we stayed up all night rimming and pounding each others anus' raw. I shot a huge load of spunk in his mullet, which dried hard. We had a great time and he said we could hook up the next time I'm in Hollywood. It's nice to be back in San Fran, tonight I plan to go back to the dumpsters where I used to meet up with other queers so they can properly welcome me back, hopefully they will stretch out my rectum so much that it will look like a wizards sleeve.